How to put meaning back into Valentines Day

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Here we are again….Valentines Day is almost upon us!

It doesn’t matter if you are married, dating, engaged, in a committed partnership or newly in love. Whether in a relationship or not, Valentines Day impacts most of us.  When it comes to V Day there are bound to be as many experiences as there are different kinds of relationships,  I am sure most of us have  been through highs and lows; some memorable, some we may wish to forget; this one coming up, are you looking forward to it?

What is V Day  really about?

What does it mean to you?

Is it just a plot set up by corporations to make money off of us?

Why does it often feel like a let down?

How can we make it a day of real meaning?

How can it be the day you really want it to be?

What do you think about these questions? (why not send us a response and tell us?)

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about it.

I think it is great to mark a day a year and celebrate love and relationship, commitment and romance. Making  Feb 14th special is wonderful as long as it  turns out wonderful.

I hope this post will give you an idea of how to make it memorable in a good way!

Unfortunately, too often I hear folks complain of being let down. Why does this happen? I think it comes from having hopes that are not met or wanting a partner to do something or say something that does not happen or if it does it’s just not quite right.  Then comes the sadness, the discouragement or worse.

Seems like too many couples nearing Feb 14 come to it with this thing called…it begins with e and is followed by_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _s. That’s right expectations (for those of you not good with words clues).

What is this about? I think we want so much for our partner to be a certain way towards us or do a certain something and it never feels good enough.  Even more confusing is when they do it only once a year  so we are  even more  disappointed about the other 364 days. Valentines Day can be a real set up!

How can we change this???

Seems to me what we all really want is to connect with our lover and feel special. My suggestion is, why not keep it simple and put real meaning into it?

Let’s face it, we all want to feel appreciated and loved! Ask yourself how can I express this to my partner so it will really land? How can I do a few small and meaningful behaviours that will promote connection and help my partner feel loved?

Dare ya!

(Here are some ideas to get you started):

First off…REMEMBER IT IS ABOUT THE OTHER 364 DAYS OF THE YEAR! Yes keep it special on the 14th but why not generalize it to the rest of the year. Don’t we all want to keep it fresh and full of surprises all year round? It really is the little things that matter. Telling your partner what they want to hear is way better than a box of chocolates or roses!

Give your partner what they want not what you want to give them. Forget the lingerie if your partner doesn’t love it, why not come home early, put the kids to bed make a nice dinner and give your partner a massage? Oh yeah, clean up the kitchen too.

Send a sweet and sexy email or text more than 3 times in the day on the 14th.

Tell your partner what first attracted you to them and DO NOT make it brief, make it LONG!

Make a compilation of music your partner loves, include songs from the beginning of your relationship, special times together, relationship milestones.

Make a card, DO NOT BUY ONE….include a beautiful poem, “How Do I Love Thee” is tried and true!

Watch a movie genre you do not like but your partner does and ENJOY it.

Flood your partner with positive appreciations that tells them how much they mean to you.

Tell us what you have planned so we can add more ideas to this!

Yours truly,

TA

 

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