Thanksgiving 2014

by

bc-fall

Well my friends, Happy Fall! We hope you enjoyed our Sizzling Summer Sex Series. If you didn’t get a chance to see all our posts and articles make sure you find us on Facebook so you can get caught up on all the juicy details and tips we kept sending out all summer long. But alas, summer has to come to an end (sad face) and we must accept the changing of the seasons and with it, a new focus on our relationships.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we think it is time to give thanks and look inward as we launch our next series: Living An Intentional Relationship.

Autumn is the time to cozy up, take stock, make soup, stay warm and think deeply about what we want in our relationships and  how we  are going to get there. What better way, than to focus our series on Gratitude, Positivity, Giving and Receiving Love and Living our Values. This series will endeavour to help us examine, challenge and learn what it means to take responsibility for our part in our relationship. Let’s keep looking at our 100% of the 50% of our love partnerships that we co-create.

When we think of giving thanks, we usually think of giving appreciation either to others, or for the abundance we have in our own lives. This is vitally important and we must continue doing this. For now, however, I propose doing something different and actually give thanks to ourselves. Why not appreciate ourselves for the times we have been our best selves in our relationships since last Thanksgiving?

While it may feel uncomfortable, I think we should allow ourselves to experience some self-appreciation. Instead of waiting for appreciation from our partner (which we all know can either go very well or not!)…why not think about our own relationship contributions and be grateful for those?

Here’s a question- What have YOU done for your relationship over the last 12 months?

When have you let something go?

When have you contained your irritation?

When have you surprised your partner?

When have you been accommodating or patient when you didn’t feel like it? When did you hold your tongue?

When did you take the high road even if it wasn’t fair?

When did you say something positive even when you wanted to criticize?

If you can think of even a couple of experiences I think you should thank yourself because when you are able to do this, you are the one who actually benefits from it. How you might ask? Simply put, it’s because you are being the best of who you are.

We rarely acknowledge ourselves for our hard work but instead wait for our partner to notice and tell us so. Of course that is important and feels great but the real gift is when we know we are being who we want to be. We are changing old behaviour to new behaviour and I believe we must acknowledge that within ourselves so we will continue to stretch beyond what’s comfortable.

Giving thanks and appreciation for yourself to yourself will help you to feel happier and more hopeful. Don’t be fooled that this is somehow arrogant or grandiose if it feels  wrong to do.

Real self-appreciation is not selfish, it is not loud.  It is being able to accept quietly that we are trying our best. It is genuine and modest, internal and self -reflective. It does not need announcing and bragging , but it does challenge us to celebrate the love and hard work we have all put into our relationships without asking for recognition, or to be paid back or to be validated by anyone other than ourselves.

On this Thanksgiving, see if you can feel more capacity to love yourself for who you are and want to keep becoming.

Dare y’a

You know the drill….Why not go to a favourite place, wherever it is and write down what you can honour in yourself about what you have done this year as a love partner. Notice how your body feels when you do this.

Yours truly,
T.A.

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