Giving

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Is it easier for you to Give or Receive?  Both? Neither? Of course, there is no right or wrong but it’s an interesting question to ask yourself because it will help you understand some of your relationship challenges.

This blog focus will focus on Giving in your relationship and the next post on Receiving.

Giving is a complicated business. For many of us, when we give to our partner, either consciously or unconsciously, we want something back. This is tricky because we rarely articulate what it is we want in return and usually end up feeling disappointed and let down  because we don’t think our partner has given back.

Giving, by the way, can be about almost anything  –  giving a massage, buying a surprise gift, making a meal, going to a partner’s work event, being extra nice…. the list goes on. The point is how often do you give hoping you will get something back? Are you even aware you have an expectation? If yes, do you know what you want to receive? Do you ever tell your partner about your expectations?

Or  do you do what most people do, sit back and wait? FYI- because this can be done at a very unconscious level, the only way you may become aware of it is when you start resenting your partner for not giving enough.

Perhaps the highest form of  giving is unconditional, but,  let’s be honest, how many of us are that evolved? We may like to think  we are but I am not sure how true that is. The  need to get something back, while not the most desirable way to be,  is quite human.

Of course a higher aim would be to give unconditionally but to do that one must be very conscious about not expecting or hoping for a return give.

To give to your partner unconditionally and in an authentic manner,  means you must believe that the giving is the gift itself. It’s an end point, put a period on it and move on . Do not expect anything to happen next.

Dare ya- Make a plan, give, enjoy it and move on. Try it this week with INTENTION!

Love,

T

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