What is Zero Negativity?

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Written By Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

Zero Negativity is looking at everyone and everything through the eyes of love!  Everyone and everything is accepted unconditionally and given an absolute value.

To look at the world through the prism of love will change your world, as you now know it, into a world you have never known, but one for which you have always dreamed. Your dream world includes no judgment, and no fear. It is absolutely safe, opening the door to connecting with others and the joy of experiencing being a part of larger whole. When you live there long enough, the neurons in your brain will become more organized; your blood chemistry will change from chemicals of fear to chemical of pleasure and your sense of well being will deepen.

Negativity, by contrast, is looking at everyone and everything through the eyes of judgment. Through the prism of judgment, no one and no “thing” is accepted or valued “as is.” Acceptance and value are granted only when we become something else, something that exists in someone else¹s mind. This nightmare world in which most of us have always lived, and from which we dream of escape, is filled with anxiety rather than love. It is a dangerous world; there is no safety without self-abandonment. 

The world of negativity is created by the exchange of ³put downs,² an interaction that says ³you are NOT ok as you are, and I will change you even if I have to hurt you.² Put-downs include tone of voice and the roll of the eye; verbal abuse of shaming, blaming, complaining, devaluing, and threatening; emotional abuse like yelling and name calling; or physical abuse like hitting and murder.

Zero Negativity is the absence of the put-down; any interactions experienced as negative or devaluing are eliminated.

Zero Negativity is essential for the solution of problems. Without that toxin, tension can be see as two or more persons having different views, rather than one being right and the other wrong.  When tension becomes conflict, the real problem is obscured. Zero Negativity affirms difference; the focus is on the problem, not the person. This allows the relational environment to become the place where novel solutions to human problems can be co-created. 

Everything awful ends when Zero Negativity begins. Life changes from black and white to Technicolor. The relational space is filled with peace and joy. This is the world you, and all of us have never had, but always wanted. 

 Zero Negativity is the human dream.

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