Archive for the ‘Attraction’ Category

Feeling sexy eh?

June 23, 2014

Maybe it is the long dark night of Canadian winters but yet another study has indicated that Canadians have robust sex lives.  Almost 7,000 Canadians answered Canadian Living magazine’s annual sex survey of preferences and practices.

Researchers are not necessarily confident that respondents don’t exaggerate their answers inflating their answers in order to feel good about their sexuality. Nevertheless, the results indicate Canadians are generally satisfied with their sex lives and also embracing new trends in enriching their sexual expression.  Nearly 45 per cent of Canadians said they use technology to enhance their sex lives. 25 per cent sent  sexts;  15 per cent sent erotic photos and 4 per cent sent racy  videos.

And Canadians are eager to try new things to keep the spice in their sexual relationships. Some 58 per cent of respondents said they had tried anal sex;  33 per cent had tried bondage, 24 per cent had tried cyber sex , 30 per cent had tried role playing, 19 per cent had a threesome and 11 per cent had someone else watch their sexual encounter.

Some results aren’t a surprise, such as the fact that on average, men wish to have sex twice as often  as women or that the number one reason for lack of sex is relationship conflict. As one respondent put it, “when I’m mad at him, he’s in the penalty box of no sex!”

When asked where Canadians like to have sex, there were some memorable lines such as “We do it carefully in a canoe like Canadians, eh?” And  some old fashioned advice from an Alberta reader: “don’t try have sex while you are both swimming in the lake –fyi- it doesn’t work!” There’s a story behind that line!

See the survey results or click here: canadianliving.com/sexsurvey

2014-Sex-Survey

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I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married

February 6, 2014

Our latest guest blogger is Jarrid Wilson, husband, pastor, author, and blogger. He has made a confession that has everyone talking lately. You’ll see why in the post below.


I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.

She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.

Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?

Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”

Dare ya:

See his website – http://jarridwilson.com/ for additional blogs.

Three stages of Relationship

April 12, 2013

This post is written by Joe Kort and re-printed here with permission. Imago Couples Therapy teaches partners that every relationship goes through stages. In this blog post, Imago therapist Joe Kort provides a tongue-in -cheek way to remember them! View a quick video of Joe Kort.

Couples Therapy Secret Stage #1—Call of the Wild

You see your partner-to-be across a crowded room, and the attraction is immediate. You want to be with each other; you can’t see enough of each other. The experience is a wild ride boosted by a pharmacy of natural chemicals flooding your system. Actually, you find yourself falling for familiar love: your partner reminds you of positive traits of your parents or whomever was important in raising you.

In this stage, you say:

“Something about you seems so familiar.”
“Have we met before?”
“Feels like I’ve always known you.”

Call of the Wild Alert:  People in couples counseling know that this stage won’t last. The call of the wild—a transient positive emotion designed to come to an end—lasts for between 6-18 months. Its purpose is to connect and bond two people, making them willing to stay together when things become more difficult in the relationship—as they inevitably will!

Couples Therapy Secret Stage #2 — Call of the Child

Where did our love go? Your partner’s charms are replaced by little differences that annoy you. Soon they aren’t so little. You hope to dispel them, or at least cope with them by arguing and defending yourself. But trying to change or “train” your partner won’t work. You consider couples counseling.  During this stage, unresolved issues from childhood resurrect. Couples project onto each other feelings from the times their parents acted poorly and disappointed them.

In this stage, you say:

  • “You’re so different! What happened to you?”
  • “If you loved me, you’d know what I need!”
  • “You tricked me. I was a fool to believe in you!”

Call of the Child Alert:  Every long-term couple goes through the call of the child. This stage is also supposed to happen and supposed to end, but lasts longer than the call of the wild. Even though the call of the child makes you feel like you’re with the wrong person, if this is happening, you are in fact with the right one.

Couples Therapy Secret Stage #3 – Call of the Mild

You value each other as you are, not as you might become. Even though you may wish that differences and disagreements would go away, you begin to understand that some will always be there—and you accept them. In this stage, ideally, you learn to give unconditionally, relate non-defensively, and relate with empathy and compassion.

In this stage, you say:

“I love you—warts and all!”
“We are different—and that’s okay!”

Call of the Mild Alert:  To revive the love of call of the wild and bring romance back into your relationship, your couples counselor might suggest you surprise your partner by doing the same things you did during the beginning of your relationship. That will remind you both of the old times when things were new and exciting—and let you feel how your love has endured.

A note about the author:

Dr. Joe Kort is a certified sex addiction therapist, certified Imago Relationship Therapist and a certified Sex Therapist providing mental health outpatient services for individuals and couples needing sex rehab as well as those struggling with depression and anxiety issues in the Rochester, Bloomfield, Birmingham and Novi areas. The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health – www.CRSH.com – provides this information written by its founder, Dr. Kort, in order to educate interested readers. (248) 399-7447