Posts Tagged ‘appreciation’

Happy 2015 Valentine’s Day

January 29, 2015

Turtles in love

Hello Friends,

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Yes, once again it is that day of the year when we honour our partners and try and experience them as the lovers we fell in love with.

I know there is too much pressure put on this day. It seems as though the authentic romance we want to feel gets lost in the materialistic Hallmark day it has become. Have no fear…put the meaning back in by keeping things simple. Somehow simplicity can help to make it more memorable.

Here are some ideas for those of you who need inspiration:

  • Give your partner a love poem (you don’t even have to write it!)
  • Make a nice dinner at home and eat by candlelight on the floor
  • Just spend the evening in candlelight!
  • Go for a walk in the day and stop somewhere new for a coffee and surprise your lover with special chocolates with the coffee
  • Stay in bed together longer than usual in the morning!
  • FLIRT with your lover all day!
  • Give your lover a massage

Whatever you do, be loving, kind and have some fun because otherwise what’s the point?

Dare ya – You can use our ideas but we dare you to come up with your own unique idea for that special someone!  Spread the love around!

Love on V Day,
T

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Grief

May 22, 2012

Love knows not its depth until the hour of separation – Kahlil Gibran

(this blog post is a reminder to NOT let Kahlil Gibran’s message be your experience)

(In memory of dh)

Several blog posts ago, I wrote about people I know or know of, who were seriously ill at the time of that writing. My message was about gratitude and living our lives awake and in each and every moment.

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this post. The friend of my friend I wrote about passed away on Mother’s Day 2012 leaving behind a loving wife and two teenage children.

In my own life, a woman I have known for many years – the mother of a dear friend of my son’s, a good friend of my best friend’s, a woman part of our tightly knit Jewish community, a woman who worked tirelessly for disenfranchised people’s rights both in Vancouver and South Africa, the mother of two beautiful teen girls and a much loved and adored wife/partner just passed away after an extremely short battle with cancer.

It is so difficult to put into words what profound sadness feels like but I do know it sits in the body and aches. Words do not give voice to the depth of feeling when someone dies before their time.

What has stood out for me during the past number of weeks is the deep love and commitment the woman’s husband continually expresses to her and about her. He has kept our community aware of her condition through a beautifully written blog. In it, he writes about her cancer diagnosis, her treatment, her thoughts, his journey and sadly her passing. What stands out in every post and the many photos he shares, is his incredible LOVE for her and their marriage of over 20 years. His expression of devotion and love during this time of personal terror has taught me about love and vulnerability in the face of incredible powerlessness.

His message is about his deep love for her, his commitment to her, his witnessing of her courage and his invitation to those around them to support them. It is through this lens that my heart experiences the meaning of a conscious loving relationship. My tears are tears of grief and tears of awe, wondering how a relationship can endure such heartache. The unwanted experience that a life threatening illness presents and the devastating effect it has on a relationship is one of the lessons we may not want to learn and yet we must find a way to cope with such lessons. I do not know nor believe there are answers or even sure paths to take to deal with such unimaginable loss. The journey seems a very personal one that takes as long as it takes and is done however it is done.

As I write this my heart is still heavy. I am again reminded of the real possibility that exists – unwanted illness and even death can happen to great people we know. Wonderful people who live healthy lives and love others deeply and who do good work in the world. Marvelous people who are able to develop and maintain loving relationships with family and friends. People we aspire to be like because of their generosity of spirit and ability to love unconditionally. When we have the privilege of knowing even one person like this we learn a lot about what is important in life. When such a person becomes ill and passes on before they should we feel life doesn’t make much sense and seems completely unfair.

I mourn for the wonderful man I know who has just lost the love of his life and his two daughters who must find a way back to their own lives without their beloved mother. Life is beautiful and sad all at once, I am holding both of these feelings and it is not easy.

Dare ya –

Have a real look into your partner’s eyes and let your body feel the beauty you are beholding. Sometimes there are no words…..

For now,

T

Ourselves / Our Gratitude / Our Challenge

April 2, 2012

Last week I went for a walk with a friend. It was one of those Vancouver days, after weeks of rain the sun was shining, fresh snow on the mountains, the ocean was glistening. It seemed like a perfect morning to relish in our beautiful city and appreciate the time we had together since we don’t see each other enough.

I hadn’t seen my friend for quite a while so we spent some time catching up on our lives our kids our latest news, it was all good. Then we began talking about a dear friend of hers who is terminally ill. I know of this person and I realized this is the 5th person in the past 2 weeks that I have heard about who is very ill.

It is a very strange phenomenon when we hear about another’s suffering, we tend to pause and take stock of our own life. We usually feel a surge of gratitude about our lives.

It is strange to have conversations about people we know of who are very sick or challenged by something because it activates our deep fears and leads us to thinking about ourselves. This is when we tend to acknowledge our own lives and our desire to be more grateful for what we have. For many of us, the desire to be more grateful about our own life seems so profound in the moment but then it is difficult to hold onto because daily life struggles take over. We get caught up in our own stuff, stress, irritants and the profound moments of gratitude slip away. We want to hold on to those profound moments, we really do but it is so hard.

This is true in our relationships too. While we have times when we are grateful for our partners, our children our parents we often forget about what is really important and let the negatives dominate.

Our challenge of course is to allow the feeling of gratitude and what we have with our partner and our families dominate. We need to allow our focus on what is right in our lives to take up more space and stop letting what isn’t right take up so much of our energy.

We all know that negative thinking leads to just one thing, more negative thinking. Yet we can’t help ourselves, that’s what we do and where we go. What’s not going right, what bugs us, what we want to be different that’s what we spend too much time on.

I am going to propose an idea.

Instead of waiting until we hear about someone we know is ill, or that something sad is happening to someone we know, why not try to be MORE grateful about what our life is really about…everyday.

How do we do this? Actually it is very simple, just not easy! Such is the stuff of life though…

Dare ya –

For the next 2 weeks at the end of every day think about what you can be grateful for related to people in your inner circle. Whether this be your partner, child, parent, other family member or friend make sure you communicate to them what you feel grateful for about having them in your life.

Just say “What I appreciate about you is…” or “One reason I am grateful to have you in my life is…” or “One thing you have taught me that I really appreciate is…” Do this EVERDAY, that is the trick! Be proactive and you can live your life without regret.

Yours truly,

T.A.

P.S. After I wrote this I just saw the film Jeff, Who Lives At Home. What a delightful, wonderful film and if you see it and know I wrote this before I saw it wow, things happen for a reason, destiny, synchronicity, mepoem (mysteriousexquisiteprecisionofeverymoment) whatever you call it, I think it is way cool! Loved that film!

T