Archive for the ‘Imago Vancouver News’ Category

Art of Loving: September 20, 2016

August 4, 2016

An Introduction to Getting the Love You Want !

Come join us for an introduction to the Imago Relationship process which helps couples deepen their connection to each other and transform their relationship to a passionate partnership.

Falling in love is magical; maintaining those good feelings can be a challenge.

We love feeling the emotional spark, sexual chemistry, desire and romance that falling in love brings. Over time, that initial feeling fades, leaving us feeling disillusioned and longing for more connection with our partner. For most of us, we don’t understand why this has happened and blame ourselves, out partners or our relationships.

Few of us know how to find our way back to the passion we once had. Some give up on their relationship and others just resign themselves to it.  Don’t do either! Instead come find out about Imago and the possibilities it offers for new way to love.

In the Imago process there is no blame, shame or criticism. Instead, it offers a theoretical perspective on the common issues couples experience plus a set of practical skills that teaches couples how to deeply listen and be heard in an emotionally safe environment. It encourages connection and trust, which is the foundation of a passionate relationship.

Come join us for an evening discussion that will be entertaining and insightful. Discover how to have the relationship of your dreams with your partner!

Register here >

Bio of the presenters

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Maureen McEvoy, MA, RCC (left), Tamara Adilman MA, MEd, RCC (right)

Tamara and Maureen have been Imago Relationship Therapists for close to 20 years. They each have a private practice specializing in couples therapy.

Tamara and Maureen have been providing the Getting the Love You Want Couples weekend and Sex and Intimacy workshops together for the past 9 years.

Tamara has been in a relationship with her partner Sarah for 31 years and they have two sons. Tamara loves talking about relationships, teaching about them, and being in one!

Maureen has been in relationship with her partner Lawrence for 26 years and has one daughter. Maureen credits Imago for helping them to weather some personal tough times.

Both Tamara and Maureen are inclusive, sex and kink positive in their approach to supporting couples.

Register here >

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Epic Move

April 7, 2010

quinet / Flickr

Maureen and I have just completed an epic move. After much talk and searching we have found and moved into shared office space for the first time. Now we all know when the real power struggle happens… after two folks make a commitment! We will keep you posted on this! Joining us will be Marianne Gareau, a Registered Psychologist (also an Imago therapist) and part-time will be Sara Menzel, MA, RCC (in training to be an Imago therapist) and Pam Hirakata, Registered Psychologist (trauma specialist). Our new space is still on the West Broadway corridor but closer to Cambie St. Needless to say I haven’t been able to focus on a blog entry for 2 weeks, but I will be posting on Sunday April 11th.

For now I want to announce that Jill Fein Baker, Imago Therapist and comedian extraordinaire is coming to Vancouver from Chicago to do a public lecture titled “Love in the 21st Century” and a two day “Keeping the Love You Find” workshop for individuals. You may remember from the workshop the four journeys and how, while growing up, we all lose parts of our selves (parts that remain under-developed while other parts are over-developed) and how we all develop our favourite defensive strategies. This is the focus of the two day workshop. It is open to all, single or in relationship. Don’t miss this opportunity!

Dates:
Friday, April 23rd 7:00 – 9:00pm “Love in the 21st Century”
YWCA 535 Hornby Street
Tickets $20.00
Register at www.ImagoBC.com

Saturday – Sunday, April 24-25, “Keeping the Love You Find”
Vancouver School of Theology at UBC
9:00am – 6:30pm
Pre-register at www.ImagoBC.com
$325.00 per person

Til next week then…

Dare ya –

I am going to have a hot bath how ‘bout you?

Yours truly tired!
T

Tamara’s T-shirts

March 23, 2010

Last weekend Maureen and I co-facilitated another Getting the Love You Want Weekend Workshop. It was amazing, I felt high by the end and believe me, there were no substances involved! Watching people fall in love all over again creates a natural high that is infectious to say the least.

The workshop creates its own real love story, much more powerful than Hollywood any day.

Let’s face it, when people come to the workshop most (not all) are not at their high point. On top of that, most are anxious and want to re-engage with their partner but truly do not know how.

This is where the t- shirts come in…….

I have an assortment of t- shirts I wear throughout the weekend which I hope act as visual cues to remind the workshop participants what they need to remember throughout the weekend. The following is a stream of consciousness post about last weekend from the perspective of my t -shirts.

Practice Kindness:

It’s the 1st t-shirt I put on. Reminds all of us that no matter what, being kind is better that not. Friday night… I asked all participants to raise hands if they would be willing to take on a GREAT big challenge. Every hand went up. I then told them the challenge: to give up blame, criticism, and negativity for the weekend. All hands stayed up. Everyone was in. I knew this was going to be good!

Laugh Often:

Just remember, we are all scared sh_t-less so remember to laugh a lot. It will feel so much better. The participants are already cracking and sharing jokes and these people are funny. People are bonding, couples look more relaxed. I am relaxed. Great possibilities are in the air.

We Are Golden:

Saturday a.m., time for the Appreciation Dialogue. Time to learn how to appreciate your partner verbally. It’s a skill and we teach it. The brain’s limbic system is already calming before my eyes. Reconnection and even joy begin to appear. Emotional engagement between couples has begun and the people are softening. Beauty!

I Rock:

Need I say more?

Ok I will!.

We all receive messages in childhood either implicitly or explicitly that tell us we are not ____________ (fill in the blank). Yet what we all wanted and needed to hear is… “you rock” . So why not remind everyone… “I rock” then hopefully everyone will know inside themselves “I rock too.”

Practice Kindness:

Reminder time…. t-shit goes on again. Deep listening time.

Understanding the influences of childhood all shared in the privacy of one’s own relationship. This part always amazes me. I love the beautiful connections couples make at this point in the workshop. Understanding and compassion and the reality that childhood influences couplehood. Big learning and everyone is fully present. This is when things really turn around. I feel privileged. Great compassionate hearts becoming even greater right before my eyes. I am a lucky person to be part of all this.

Laugh Often (again):

Exit time! We all do it but how do we do it? This is definitely when we need to keep laughing or else things will go sideways. Everyone is on board and the challenge is still in effect. There is no negativity, criticism or blame anywhere to be seen. Lots of smiling and big open hearts though!

It’s Not That I’m Stubborn… It’s Just That I Know I’m Right:

I had this t-shirt made for my eldest son Max when he turned 13. It was a verbatim quote by him that I had put onto a t-shirt. He wore it proudly until he grew out of it and then gave it to me and I proudly wear it when introducing the intricacies of the Power Struggle.

The core of this struggle is really the age old question in any relationship, who is going to be “the one?” I want closeness, I want to be validated, I want to be right, I want you to agree with me even if you don’t,  but you want all these things too because we both want to be “the one”. This is a big pill to swallow. The truth is some medicine we just have to take.

(I need a new t-shirt for this part but I haven’t found it yet something about gold I suspect would be in order!)

Moving right along and into relationship consciousness comes the frustration dialogue. These folks really rocked. They were brilliant. They stayed intentional, listened deeply and took on the great task of trying to meet their partner’s need which they themselves chose out of 3 choices. I am joyful and my work is almost done.

Live In Love:

I bought this t-shirt in L.A. at a bargain discount store for only $9.99 (it was Marshall’s in Beverly Hills if you must know).Profound words on sale but I am the queen of bargains so this makes sense to me! Here comes Hollywood but way better. Positive love flood, caring behaviours, love letters to be posted in the coming weeks by us, sex lecture, chocolates and long stemmed roses given by each partner with sweet words to each partner.  We are nearing the end of Sunday with sweetness and deliciousness and a commitment to conscious love with some real tools to make it all work.

Getting the Love You Want

It’s happened, and it’s all good, and my work is done for this weekend.

Next one is June 4-6, 2010. Can’t wait!

Dare ya –

Remember when you were at the workshop and it was close to ending and you and your partner exchanged roses? Remember how you felt? Remember that now and hold it in heart. That’s the real love story.

Until the next time…

Yours truly,

T

Up Up and Away…Our love blog!

January 11, 2010


A blog?

Why you might ask?

It really comes down to just one thing.

We wonder what happens to all of you after you leave the Getting the Love You Want weekend. We want to stay connected, offer support and continue to help you all create the relationship you want.

It may sound cheesy but we really believe in this work and care about what happens to all of you after you leave the workshop.

Where do you go?

How do you do?

Do you incorporate what you’ve learned into your everyday life?

We are pretty sure that you, like all of us, have some great times, with more connection and fun.  Yet, you still have to navigate the landmines of your relationship, especially the let downs. Take it from us, they happen to everyone.  This is why we want to keep sharing common, everyday thoughts and ideas about how you can keep that lovin’ feeling after the workshop.

Ok, true confessions…

We think it will help us too! Let’s face it, we all need to support each other and keep things real. We are all on the journey of relationship. It’s not like we have it all figured out either. We want to do this because we believe it will help all of us.

This is very new for us to do so we see it as a work in progress. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. What do you want us to focus on and include in our blog? Let us know!

Our plan is to blog about once a week. It will be one or both of us. We will write about a topic, experience or idea we hope you will relate to and offer some suggestions or challenges to work on that week with your partner. This section will be called ”dare ya”.

By the way, we have nothing to sell. No money will change hands. All we really want is to stay connected and offer support to all of us in relationship. Stay tuned!

Dare ya –

What is one thing you really do love about who your partner is as a person? Think about it. Now go tell them……

Yours really truly,

T & M